


Repercussions

by Aridette



Category: Assassin's Creed - All Media Types
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Forgiveness, Guilt, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Making Up, Mentions of Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-13
Updated: 2017-09-13
Packaged: 2018-12-27 15:33:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12084003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aridette/pseuds/Aridette
Summary: When Gist mentions his Templar friends who were killed by Shay and the fond memories he has of them, Shay tells him 'not now'. Gist doesn't protest, doesn't follow the conversation up with a joke. He just stops talking.The guilt is eating away at Shay.





	Repercussions

**Author's Note:**

> This ficlet is based on the in-game interaction where Shay orders Gist to basically shut up and Gist does, despite the things they should talk about.  
> x-posted from my tumblr

The Morrigan was at anchor outside a small port they had reached just before nightfall.  
The wind was still cold, but less so near the tall cliffs than out on the open waters. The waves gently tugged at the rode that kept her steady where she was.    
Except for a few men who toughed out the midwatch everyone had retired. Silence had settled over the ship as the waves rocked against her wooden hull.

Shay would have had to be deaf to miss the steps approaching the stern. For a moment he almost believed they would bypass his door on one side and retreat along the other.    
Almost.   
Instead, there was a quiet knock.    
Apparently even the light of a single candle lit on his desk was enough to give him away.  
“Enter.“

It was Gist. He closed the door behind himself, shutting the cold out effectively before he spoke.    
“Do you have a moment?“   


From where Gist stood in almost darkness it was difficult to tell what his first mate wanted. Shay closed the book that had lain open before him and nodded. He hadn’t been able to concentrate anyway.   


“About earlier today,“ his first mate began as he approached, careful where he was stepping, “I just wanted-“   


“I should apologize,“ Shay interrupted.   


He got up from behind his desk.    
This was not a conversation they should have between captain and second in command. So he didn’t want to give the impression that they were not of equal standing in this matter. It had nothing to do with their current positions.   
If only it had, it would have been so much easier.    
“I was out of line, ordering you to be quiet in front of the crew.“   


The guilt had been gnawing at him ever since.    
But the only thing worse than doing what he had done, would have been apologizing in front of them. It would have cost them more than their respect; their reputation.    
And so he’d had to bear with the silence that followed.   


“You were well within your rights as the captain, Sir,“ Gist was quick to throw in. Nevertheless, he sounded as remorseful as Shay felt.   


“As a captain perhaps.“ Shay leaned back against his desk.    
“You were right, though. I killed those men without knowing who they were or what they were truly trying to achieve.“    
He could not meet Gist’s eyes as he admitted the bitter truth.   
He had been a fool. And he would never be free of his actions.   


“Shay,“ Gist said softly.   


“Everything would have been much easier without my interference.“ Shay looked anywhere but at Gist.   


“Perhaps,“ Gist conceded, “Or maybe they would have sent someone else instead. The outcome might have still been the same. Whether it was you or not.“   


“But it WAS me.“ Shay felt the guilt rising once more. “Gist. It was me.“   


“I know.“   


Another heavy silence settled between them, this one even more difficult to bear for the lack of distraction that steering a ship offered at daytime.   


“How can you even stand to look at me?“ Shay eventually asked.   


“Captain.“ Shay looked up at that. “If I may-?“    


When Shay said nothing Gist closed the few steps between them until he was standing right in front of him.    
“I know you’re a good man. That’s how. You were misguided once, but given the chance to make your own decisions and follow your own instincts, your true nature showed.“    


Shay tried to find any hint of a joke, but all he found as the flickering light of the candle danced across Gist’s face was sincerity.    


“You don’t take a life unless it is necessary. You protect people, give them a chance at a better life. You are easily the most selfless person I have ever met.“   


How could Gist say all those things as though they were true when he had known of his Assassin roots from the very beginning?    
Maybe he didn’t know the full extent, the complete tally of the lives he had taken. Lisbon alone-   


“I should not have held your past against you. Not even in jest.“   


Sooner or later, Shay knew it’d had to happen. Everything he had ever done had its repercussions. And if he were completely honest he deserved much worse than what Gist had done by mentioning the Templars he had killed before he had left the Brotherhood.    
Of course the man had fond memories of them. They had been comrades after all.   
He could never hope to make up for that. All he could hope for was to be the source of new, happier memories to dull the pain he had caused.   


“Forgive me,“ he whispered.   


“Only if you forgive me.“    


When Shay remained quiet, Gist gently tugged him closer by his waist.    
“Please?“   


“How-?“  _ When there is nothing to forgive _ , he meant to ask.  
He broke off when one of Gist’s hands came up to caress his cheek until it softly rested against his neck, tilting his head upwards ever so slightly.   


Closing the remaining distance between them came as natural as breathing.  
The kiss was brief. A simple press of lips against an equally chapped pair of lips.    
In fact, there was nothing even remotely romantic or heated about it. Instead, it was a reassurance that whatever had been was in the past. It didn’t matter right now. It didn’t change who they were right now.   


The future lay ahead of them. And that future was all that mattered in that moment.    
Not because of their mission, or the change they were about to bring.  
But rather because it had one thing that the past had lacked:  _ both of them together _ .

 


End file.
